I wished for the impossible and all I got was this lousy shirt...

No seriously, I attended a preview screening of "When in Rome" last night and won a t-shirt because I knew that Jon Heder was in this film. Although in my mind I was picturing Bill Hader, so technically I'm a cheater and I was horribly disappointed because in a battle of the "almost the same last name" guys, Bill dominates.

 

The Players: Kristen Bell, Josh Duhamel, Anjelica Huston, Will Arnett, Jon Heder, Dax Shepard

The Director: Mark Steven Johnson

 

The Gist: The ridiculously, averagely named Mark Steven Johnson, director of the ridiculously average films: Elektra, Daredevil, and Ghost Rider, brings to life the "what if" story for the ages. Picture the writer's table with me:

It's a cold winter's eve in Los Angeles. Friends David Diamond and David Weismann are furiously working on their next hit movie script.

David D leans over and says, "David, I've got it!" "What if there was a fountain in Italy that if you toss in a coin and wish for love, it will come true!"

David W: "What kind of coin?"

David D: "What do you mean?"

David W: "What kind of coin do you need to throw in? Like a Euro or an American Dollar?"

David D: "It doesn't matter, I guess, any kind of coin. Just throw it in, God makes lightening and thunder and then instant Love!"

David W: "Well, how much?"

David D: "I'm not following you"

David W: "How much do you have to throw in?"

David D: "I guess the denomination doesn't matter. Just throw in a coin, wish for love, and it'll find you"

David W: "So let me get this straight...This fountain of love grants your wish regardless of country of origin and denomination?...Love IS blind...why not just throw in a poker chip and save your coin?"

David W & D: "THAT'S IT!!!!"

/end scene

When in the Guggenheim...

 

Sometimes a Rom-Com is just a Rom-Com

If you're a discerning film fan, you'll probably take one look at this movie and move on. That fact doesn't surprise me; I wouldn't be reviewing it if I didn't get in free. Romantic comedies seem to fall off the writing tree at a regular pace and Hollywood seems to pretty them up with the latest "It" actors to polish the product before it hits the market. Most of the time these kinds of films taste bland and leave little to be desired. With that said, sometimes a movie is just a movie, a romantic comedy is just one part romance, one part comedy, or just funny enough to make an enjoyable evening out of what it has to work with. It's kind of like "light on the apple, heavy on the pie" apple pie; seriously, who doesn't like apple pie?

Don't get me wrong, this movie is wretched at points. While the opening credits set up the film adequately by incorporating a revolving post card rack and the cities of New York and Rome, the first scene involving Bell's ex is just poorly written and horribly executed. The timing was off, the extras were off. It was the apple peel shavings of the film, needing to be thrown in the garbage. (What's with the baking metaphor?) As the movie rolls along, the standard "Will they/Won't they" that is vastly more well executed in this film, plays out and you can probably guess where the movie ends up. The plot twist won't be hard to pick out, but like I said, you'll probably laugh enough to miss those dreadful parts.

Josh Duhamel is likable and flawed enough for me not to hate his good looks and great clothing. Kristen Bell is adequate as the female lead but leans towards being a bit on the overacting side. Anjelica Huston is awkward and does a poor-woman's "The Devil Wears Prada" performance. Heder, not Hader, is a goofy magician with Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite in tow, who comes off more as a creepy porno cameraman than Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite.

And then there's Alexis Dziena....aka Gollum. I have to take this moment to point out how absolutely weird she looked at different points in this movie. With her hair pulled back and in the giant billowing wedding dress she really looked like the Lord of the Rings character. Sorry Alexis, but your agent needs to fire the wardrobe person for this film.

My own, my precious...

 

I do have a few highlights that involve Bobby Moynihan from SNL (or if you're old school: DerrickComedy). Bobby plays Josh Duhamel's friend and gets to do the funny riffing that the best friend of the hunky lead actor gets to do in movies like these. Moynihan is funny and functions in this role excellently. He'll be a highlight for you. Oh, and it's great to see Will Arnett; he'll make you laugh too.

Catch it, Rent it, Skip it...

Dudes, if you're stumped on a safe movie to take your ladies on Valentine's Day and you can't vouch for any of the other flicks in the theater (I'm looking at you "Valentine's Day" ...which looks dreadful), you can fall back on this one.  Likewise, this one will be a "rent it" in the future, but only as a safe back up because it'll be just enjoyable enough for everyone. Kinda like Apple Pie...